in brief: mocked by her village for her spinster ways, Fisherwoman (Olivia Colman) decides to turn her nose up at the idea of marriage and asks Basket Weaver (Peter Dinklage) to make her a Wicker Husband (Alexander Skarsgård). for me: fucking brilliant, and brilliant fucking! Wicker is acerbically funny, as the trailer suggested it would be, and gorgeously designed, as the trailer suggested it would be, not to mention salaciously rude, as the trailer downright guaranteed it would be (creak). what might be less expected is how tenderly emotional and stridently political the film is, skewering lazy misogyny and toxic … Continue reading quick hits // Wicker

in brief: rising movie star Matt Hagen (Tom Rhys Harries) gets on the wrong side of a vengeful crime boss, sending him looking for an experimental cure for facial wounds no surgeon can repair. for me: this started off with a lot of promise, centred on a likeable character in a realistic seeming film industry, whose only real flaw seemed to be his libido. the violence and subsequent surgeries were suitably graphic for an 18-rated movie, and once Matt became more malleable we got some real opportunities for squirms (although maybe not putting the best ones in the trailer would … Continue reading quick hits // Clayface

in brief: when the young king demands an increase in taxes from a population recently halved by plague, ordinary people rise up and resist, led by a farmer, a priest, and an ex-soldier. for me: this and The Social Reckoning releasing the same weekend is dangerous for my blood pressure, but good for my social conscience. it’s a relatively contained story, with Andrew Garfield, Cosmo Jarvis, and Jamie Bell representing the suffering, the will, and the rage of the everyday britons respectively, faced with the greedy, thoughtless indulgences of the king and his wealthy advisors. it’s exactly the sort of … Continue reading quick hits // The Uprising

in brief: seven-year-old Bela (Arabella Olivia Clark) is closer to her stay at home dad than her high-powered mum, but her best friend of all is her Other Mommy (Jessica Chastain, playing both versions of the matriarch), who lives on the other side of doors and wants to climb inside Bela’s heart forever. for me: Other Mommy is pretty refreshing for a horror film, because not only are we told exactly what is going on from the start, but our young protagonist is believed, not just by her slightly stonery ‘Daddo’ (Jay Duplass), but by every other family friend, babysitter, … Continue reading quick hits // Other Mommy

in brief: selfish and abrasive oil tycoon, Digger Rockwell (Tom Cruise), has pushed his ambition so far that an accident at one of his rigs has caused an iceberg five times the size of Washington DC to be propelled towards Europe, with catastrophic potential. is this the wake-up call that he – and the oil-hungry political elite – has long needed? for me: a curse of boils and flatulence on anyone who spoils the premise of this film, because i promise that even if you’ve devoured every teaser and trailer for Digger you have no idea where this film is … Continue reading quick hits // Digger

in brief: struggling novelist Lowen (Dakota Johnson) is recruited to ghost-write for a renowned author who has suffered a devastating accident, but as she delves into her research she begins to suspect that all is not as it seems. for me: i love a good melodrama. whether it’s a trad whodunnit or a spicy erotic thriller. i don’t mind the cliched dialogue or the big performances, and i love the inevitable property and interior design porn, for what is melodrama without obscene wealth? i’ll take a voiceover, although it isn’t my favourite element, but give me an unreliable narrator and … Continue reading quick hits // Verity

in brief: when a cow is found mauled by something unusually large, both the local police and a group of informally deputised hunters go in search of the bear, tiger, or whatever it might be. for me: if there wasn’t already a great movie called whiplash, this movie could own that title. first, and most literally, there is some breakneck stunt driving through narrow urban streets; second, there are definitely fatal encounters with both trees and gravity that some people seem better equipped to shake off than others; finally, there is the dramamtic shift between mind-blowing brilliance and mind-altering nonsense, … Continue reading quick hits // Hope

in brief: teacher Maria (Saoirse Ronan) is struggling to give her best to her class due to the disruptive influence of one pupil, Danny (Eddie Waller), who really needs specialised help, or even one-to-one teaching. of course, that should be formally arranged, but rash decisions and an empty basement lead to some unconventional results. for me: as someone who has worked in education, i can promise you that we’ve all thought about it… about how much better a class would do without that one disruptive influence, of course. nothing else. Bad Apples is dark and disturbing, but utterly hilarious, as … Continue reading quick hits // Bad Apples

in brief: a pair of military veterans (one bi-ped, one quadra-ped, albeit with a prosthetic) are exploring the middle of nowhere when their plane crashes and they have to trek their way back to civilisation. for me: without the humans, definitely. even with the humans it’s still good. in a way it scratches the competence-porn itch, as both Odin the dog (mainly Uber, but also Seeker, Ryker, and Hondo) and James the human (Brad Pitt) are incredibly capable at dealing with what life throws at them. even without the vaguely flag-waving flashbacks, their skills and bond are shown so clearly … Continue reading quick hits // Heart of the Beast

in brief: a medical courier about to head home gets one last high priority delivery for the day, to the hospital in Raccoon City. after a few unsettling events on his drive there, Bryan (Austin Abrams) ends up fighting for his life, something he is wildly unprepared for. for me: blah blah not a gamer blah blah never played it blah blah no skin in the game. i did, however, really enjoy the recent tv series, which tried doing something more interesting than usual with the story, and the original Mill-ogy – not that either of those were of the … Continue reading quick hits // Resident Evil